Comments on: Generation X and Behavioral Parenting

By: Shelly

Shelly — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 18:15:00 +0000

You made a blog awhile back about how a lot of boomers made their homes in places called exurbs-I’ve also heard these places called Edge cities. In the 80s and 90s crime was rampant in these places due to the Xers coming of age. Globalization in the 90s allowed these places to become dying and decaying “factory towns” as major forms of business were carried off to India, Mexico, and other such places. This also allowed for crime and drug use to rise. People seem to assume that all Yers grew up in the wealthy suburbs like Boomers grew up in the suburbs. This is not the case in my opinion, Boomers grew up in a community-like environment that does not currently exist. They grew up with parks, churches, stores, and schools nearby, Yers grew up in an exurb with no sidewalks and everything at least 10 miles away. There are urban areas between these places, which makes walking riskier. To Yers, the suburbs the Boomers grew up in looked like a haven away from the world we lived in. To Xers, we look spoiled, coddled, suffocated, but in reality we were in need of some protection.

As someone who grew up in an Edge City, I can honestly say that I’m glad my parents didn’t allow me to go wandering around. The deserted and hollowed out factories served as drug dens and homeless shelters, my neighbors’ relative was shot right in front of my school, houses constantly burnt down, dead bodies were found, children hit by cars. The Boomers were right to over shelter their kids because they created an environment that wasn’t safe for them or brought them to such places. Some parents went overboard obsessing over silly little things, but only because the mod reaction from their generation carried over into the places that had no need of it. The children who grew up in safer neighborhoods away from the edge cities or exurbs, were the ones who had helicopter parents.

I think it’s much more important to develop an emotional connection with your children, then it is to teach them independence, adventure, etc…how on earth are your kids going to “learn” a sense of adventure? This cannot be brought to people who are inherently imaginative no matter where they are. They create adventures in their heads, in their living room they can be in Florida, in their front yard, they can be camping.

By the way, I am a millennial and I have a great relationship with my mother and I am not devoid of an adventurous spirit and imaginative spirit.

By: Matthew

Matthew — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 21:26:01 +0000

Thanks for the thoughtful reply dsohigan. I've heard similar views on the T4T forum. I've been a college student for awhile and I can tell you that ankle-length dresses and 1950s mores have definately not come back into fashion with Millenniel women. I generally get the sense from reading Neil's writings that Millenniels are supposed to be more conservative than their predecessors regarding sex. Reading books like Millennials Rising gives the impression that people my age want to impose abstinence-only education, ban all swearing and provocative dress, and basically return us to a puritanical 1950s society. I would be relieved to discover this is a false impression.

By: dsohigian

dsohigian — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:21:39 +0000

@Matthew - I am not sure if you are so alone in your view of sexuality among
Millennials. Although Millennials are thought to be relatively
"conventional" in comparison to Gen X'ers or Boomers, they tend to be much
more open-minded about sexuality than previous generations. The sexual
revolution created new standards for conduct that have stuck with the
Millennials. This is where some of the mis-beliefs about young people spring
up from: when older generations see a tattoo on a young woman's lower back,
or hear young people talking openly about sex, they jump to the conclusion
that they lack morals. But the reality is that Millennials have different
standards, much of which were created during the sexual revolution.

By: Matthew

Matthew — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 19:14:35 +0000

I'm sure Mr. Howe and I wouldn't agree on much politically but I still find his theories interesting nonetheless. What I'm worried about is growing influence religious conservatives have had on child nuture and education. I'm concerned that with the new Artists entering school we'll see more abstinence-only education that doesn't teach real facts about sex but instead relies on scare tactics and shame. Abstinence is in my view basically an attempt to impose certain people's religious beliefs regarding sex on all youth. I'm a Millenniel and I know Hero genrations are supposed to be conservative prudes when it comes to sex. I guess that sets me apart from the rest of my generation since I have pretty liberal views on sexuality.